When Life Gives You Holland, Make Hollandaise--Part 2

Hello there dear readers!

Here is the second part to the "When Life Gives You Holland" post as promised.  If you missed the first installment, check here for that post.  I recapped the wonderful women's conference that I attended this past weekend in which I also happened to be a guest speaker.  It was out of town, so for all you locals, you didn't miss anything that was happening nearby (oh, but you'll wish that you had been there--it was that good!) This post and its title will make a world of more sense if you take a look back, so make a pit stop here first.

Dutch tulips in Woodburn, OR.

When we last met, I gave you a look into an inspiring event that I had the opportunity to participate in with the promise that I would share the talk that I gave.  I would have been able to fill an hour of time with all that has been rumbling around in my head on the topic of grace, but had to really limit it to what I felt inspired to share.  I absolutely loved thinking about grace in terms of how it works in our lives when we plan for "Italy," but end up in "Holland" instead.  We all make the best of plans and dream the best of dreams, but life is perfectly imperfect for a reason.  We can choose to learn and grow or find ourselves missing the point and missing the unique beauties that accompany challenging territories.

The following is the talk that I gave with a little extra that I was forced to leave out due to time, and with some slight modifications to make it blog reader-friendly. As always, thanks for reading and enjoy!  I hope that you find something that is meaningful to you.

When Life Gives You Holland

As I’ve been contemplating metaphorical trips to Holland, the scriptural phrase “weak things made strong” has settled into my mind.  If you’ve spent any time here on earth, which obviously you have because you're reading this, then you’ve probably come face to face with the disappointment and the reality that we’re surrounded by weak things: ourselves, others, and this world in general. 

Sometimes things just don’t always work out the way that we had hoped or dreamed.  We planned for Italy, but ended up in Holland or Afghanistan, for that matter.  At times it may even feel like we’ve been kicked off a speeding train only to land in the middle of Beirut with no return ticket home. Our best made plans and ideals often take a 180-degree turn when we least expect it.  But it's those "weak things" that are the very things designed to lead us back to live with our Father in Heaven.  Nobody is free from these sorts of experiences.  Nobody.

Darn it.  

So now what?

Well, I have news for you; it’s hopeful news.  Weak things are given to us to make us strong, and in the particular strength that the Savior has in mind, lie the keys to peace and happiness regardless of our current situation.  Adversity, trial, loss, hardships, or whatever you may call them, are perfectly designed to leave us totally and completely dependent for help and recovery.  That perfect storm in each of our lives is designed as a means to lead us back to God because He is the only source where those voids will ever be filled.  We often complain about the current generation being struck with a heavy dose of feelings of entitlement.  Let's take a closer look at ourselves.  Couldn't we say the same about us?  Do we recognize that we often feel entitled to an easy life free from challenges and pain?

Author C.S. Lewis, in the book The Problem of Pain, accurately describes that foolishly, what we sometimes want is NOT a loving Father in Heaven who will not be satisfied until we are made into divine works of art, but rather that we foolishly wish for a kindly, somewhat senile grandfather in heaven who simply wants us to have fun and to have a good time.  God who has made us, knows what we are and that our happiness lies in Him.  Yet we will not seek for permanent happiness in Him as long as He leaves us any other options of where it can be temporarily found or experienced while here on earth.

"The settled happiness and security which we all desire," Lewis reasons, "God withholds from us by the very nature of the world; but (temporary) joy, pleasure, and merriment he has scattered (abroad).  We are never safe, but we have plenty of fun, and some ecstasy.  It is not hard to see why.  The security we crave would teach us to rest our hearts in this world and (become) an obstacle to our return to God: a few moments of happy love, a landscape, a symphony, a merry meeting with our friends, a bath or a football match, have no such tendency.  Our Father refreshes us on the journey with some pleasant inns, but will not encourage us to mistake them for home.”
 

The truth is this:  We each have custom-made challenges, and their placement in our lives are given as a means for us to have no other choice but to turn to Jesus Christ to act as our Savior.  When we seek Him, we get to know Him.  When we know Him, we will follow Him.  When we follow Him, we come to love Him and then can become like Him.  In this way, His mission and our Father’s master plan is accomplished.  Weak things are given to make us strong and as the means to return to live with them.

The scriptures teach us this truth!  

In Ether 12:27 we can read about it, noting my little change in replacing the word “men” with the word “women”:
 

                 And if (wo)men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto (wo)men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all (wo)men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

So just know, that if you’re recognizing weaknesses in your life, then you’re actually on the right track.  When we can admit to our own shortcomings or recognize that we are being subjected to disappointment in one of a million ways that only this life can provide, then we can know that we’re on the path to becoming strong.  Recognizing and admitting weakness is the first step. But how many times have we mistakenly thought that relief and growth from these disappointments can only come in another lifetime or at a minimum, a long way down the road of life?   In reality, if we look at the weak things in our lives with the right perspective, we will better recognize that the Savior can and will help us right here and right now. 

It is all part of a divine plan; one in which we all agreed upon before entering this mortal life.  You may not remember it, I know that I don’t, but what I do catch glimpses of in bits and pieces is that, though perhaps a tad naively, we were once fearless and full of hope in the face of the pitfalls of life.  Can’t you just see us all now? “A broken body?  Bring it on!” “Wayward children?  I can handle this!” “Family dysfunction.  Phhfffft.  I got this one!”

That valiant hope and optimism came from the understanding that we once had, that through our brother Jesus Christ, the far-reaching doctrine of the Atonement and Grace, would compensate for our earthly trips to Holland (or Afghanistan or Beirut) that would take place here in this life.  We once had a clear vision that if all of our mortal sight-seeing trips were spent in the Italy’s of life, we would NEVER achieve the immeasurable growth that we wanted and needed.

So what about that concept of GRACE mentioned earlier in that verse in the book of Ether?  I have seen that word pop-up everywhere recently—everywhere from the 2014 LDS Youth Theme, church magazine articles, and Sunday school lessons.  I’m confident that this is a direct result of our Savior desiring that we come to understand this powerful concept. 

As the young women (girls' youth group ages 12-18) of my ward (congregation) were discussing it recently, the consensus was that grace can sometimes feel like a warm-fuzzy concept that is hard to measure or quantify.  You can’t see it, so how do you know that it’s at work in your life?  What does it have to do with weaknesses and trials?

I love this definition of grace found in the Bible dictionary:  Grace is divine help and strength that we receive through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  Grace is an enabling power that strengthens us from day to day and helps us endure to the end.  It is the Savior’s rescuing help right here and right now.  

In that verse in the book of Ether, we learn that when we are humble, He can more readily apply this doctrine of grace.  I am convinced that the more acquainted we become with grace, the more we’ll recognize it in our lives, and ultimately, the more we’ll then be open to receiving more of it in our lives.

For your benefit, I put social media to work for a good purpose.  I recently conducted a Facebook survey asking for personal experiences with this divine help and strength given through grace.  It turned out to be a truly touching experience.  I’d like to share a few of the responses that were given from both men and women.  

Here’s how you and they have experienced grace:

-Grace is what has enabled me to look ahead, smile, and keep going even during times that I thought I would break. 

-Grace is miraculous recoveries, unexpected job offers from unexpected places, and people who show up to help my family just when we need help the most.

-Grace is the wonder that when I do my best, Christ will make up the difference.  It’s the whisperings of the Spirit that teach me that I can truly be perfect in him with His help, right here and right now. 

-Thanks to His grace, I have the ability to succeed at being perfect each day and never have to feel like I don't measure up or like I fail over and over, or like the commandment to be perfect is too hard. I simply have to put in my best effort. Naturally I still have to continue to grow and learn, so that I over time become better at being perfect.  And since my best effort varies from day to day, so does the measure of grace extended. The glass is always full, and thanks to that grace, I can be worthy to live in my Heavenly Father's presence each day.

-Grace is learning to love those people who have hurt you, betrayed you ... and yet you ask for forgiveness for not loving THEM and knowing He forgives you and helps you to learn to love them anyway ... and He never leaves you alone in your loneliness ... grace is knowing that as long as your heart is in the right place your 'mortal-ness' is forgiven.

-I find Grace in deciding to appreciate those around me for what is good in them and their positive qualities rather than disliking them for the small personal flaws they may exhibit.  Not everyone is made perfect but most are trying to be as good as they can. I think it is graceful to recognize this. I also believe that this is how a God would view his creations.

-Something I have learned is that just because grace exists and we will need it in order to return to our Father in Heaven doesn't mean it always comes easy. Sometimes we will still be tried and tested to our limit (or at least what we think is our limit) before we can see the act of grace in our life. We still have to prove to The Lord that we are faithful to him and will turn to and rely on him when times get tough. Then he pours out his blessings to us in the form of grace. I guess another way to put it is some things come for free by way of grace such as the resurrection. Other things we have to prove ourselves worthy of or "pay a certain price" before grace kicks in.

-Grace helps me be okay with me, accepting my imperfections, striving to be better and not trying to shape me into someone else.

The most fascinating thing occurred to me while reviewing all of these replies to may Facebook survey.  I noticed that every single person who answered, had been someone who had experienced trips to "Holland."  Abandonment, loneliness, horrific chronic illness, same gender attraction, the loss of a baby, the victim of abuse, a spouse or self, dealing with ongoing mental health issues.  We’re talking some real heavy hitters as far as hardships here.  You name it, these dear people have faced it.

These precious women and men could testify of the power of grace in their lives because they had been given weak things.  In time, they each came to look to Jesus Christ as a means for coping.  Often He was not the first means that they seeked to fill the void and take away the pain, but eventually He was and that’s when they started to better recognize grace.  It was then, through initial weakness, that they were made incredibly strong.

From this we can learn that when we seek out Jesus Christ in faith, we begin to recognize miracles.   When we’re most acquainted with Holland, we are more likely to be acquainted with the power of the Savior. 

And with the same wisdom and wonder as Eve we sometimes ask, “Is there no other way?”

No my friends;  He is the only way.

Even as the Savior, though as perfect as He was, had to live and learn and grow grace by grace (D&C 93:12-13), so will we make it, endure it, even flourish and blossom in hardships, thanks to the power of grace.

Grace is evidenced in ways that are as infinitely unique as each of our life challenges.  It's those big and small miracles that we often mistake for coincidence.  It is our Savior showing us in personal ways that He loves us, knows us, and cares for us. He walks beside us down those difficult roads that will eventually lead to a life that’s even better than the one that we would have created for ourselves.  I know this to be true as I see grace in action in my own life and as I experience my own trips to Holland.

So when life gives you Holland...well, you know the rest.

Off on another adventure!
~Arianna