When Life Gives You Holland, Make Hollandaise--Part 1

 Tulip season in the Northwest is almost here!

Tulips are some of my most favorite flowers and lucky me to live here in the Pacific Northwest close enough to visit some of the most beautiful flower farms in the country.  This is about as close to Holland as I've been, but I had the amazing opportunity this past weekend to go for a brief "visit" there courtesy of a women's conference in Southern Oregon. 

A dear friend of mine leads an LDS women's service organization (Relief Society) that encompasses several congregations in the Medford, OR. area. She, with other local leaders, put on an amazingly touching and profound event in which I was honored to speak on Saturday.  

The premise for the conference was based on an essay that was written by Emily Kingsley in 1987 titled "Welcome to Holland." Kingsley uses the metaphor of planning a trip to Italy and winding up in Holland instead, to describe what life is like with the unexpected experience of having a child with disabilities.  This metaphor can effectively be applied to so many of life's unexpected twists and turns!

In order to better understand the rest of this post, please take a min. to read the short essay:

WELCOME TO HOLLAND 

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this... 

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. 

It's all very exciting. 

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland." "Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy." 

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.  The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place. 

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language.  And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts. 

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. 

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland. 

So back to my Holland weekend.

The conference was advertised as an Italian-themed event, down to invitations printed to look like boarding passes for a flight to Italy:

My clever friend created a Facebook page promoting this "trip to Italy" event with weekly posts that shared everything from links to Andrea Bocelli music to Italian food recipes in order to get everyone in the mindset for all things Italian.  She had such a huge surprise up her sleeve because all the while the program for the day was going to be about literal and metaphorical trips to Holland.

After singing a congregational hymn in Italian and English in the chapel, followed by me giving an opening prayer in Italian, the large group of women entered into a previously closed off luncheon hall to find themselves smack in the middle of all things Dutch. The looks of confusion were everywhere as women sat down to tables decorated in Dutch blue, surrounded by Dutch art, on either side of a long grassy lane filled with handmade paper tulips that even had artificial bumble bees inside.  Attention to detail was everywhere!  Details of Holland and NOT Italy.

We were blessed to hear several speakers describe their own personal trips to "Holland." These wonderful women taught us about how they have been blessed and have grown in being given life experiences that weren't necessarily what they would have planned for themselves.  They shared wisdom learned through their difficult challenges and how their faith in Christ has flourished because of hardships.

Following a short video segment of Elder Holland's LDS General Conference talk about dealing with mental health challenges, we were given some great cultural insight into life in the real Holland by a gal who had recently spent some time there.  The Dutch people are such clever and industrious folks. And they ride bikes.  Enough said.  It was SO fun to learn about their culture!

Finally, it was my turn and my dear friend in charge gave a truly moving introduction that got my waterworks flowing even before I got up on stage.  I pulled it together and gave my best effort at rousing concluding remarks on the topic of grace.  No surprise, right?  It's become my calling card of topics lately.  I'm humbled.  I'll be posting the written form of my talk in my next blog post, though it isn't perfectly identical to what I said from the pulpit, but close enough.  I used my notes quite a bit to help me stick to my allotted time, but I know that I said things that were directed by the Spirit for that particular moment that were not originally written into my talk. I love how that happens.

We ended the day with traditional Dutch foods and treats.  What a grand accomplishment for the women who organized this day for the several hundred in attendance.  We were filled in so many ways.  Thank you, ladies!  It was an honor to be a part of such a wonderful day.

ME!

The inspired "flight" crew that took us to Holland.  I love you guys.

Off on another adventure...
 ~Arianna