Perfectly Imperfect

Meet my dream barn (*swoon*).  It's a real, live, living, breathing, local "resident" that I'm lucky enough to often drive, run, or cycle by since it's a mere 4 miles from my home. I've been head over heels in love with this barn from the moment that I laid eyes on it nearly 5 years ago.  Deep emerald woods create the perfect backdrop for grassy pastures that surround this white beauty.

There's something so soothing about this place--it has an almost magical and ethereal quality for me.  Time seems to slow down as I imagine myself swinging from an old rope into a pile of hay bales somewhere within its walls.  It echoes of a simpler time and place.  It draws me in, almost wishing to tell me its stories and I try to stop and really listen each time.

I embrace the idea that something possibly construed as worn, in need of repairs, and less than perfect can, in fact, be beautiful; truly beautiful because of imperfections and more importantly, loved for them and not despite them.

If you were to walk into this field with me, together upon a closer examination, we'd see that "my" barn has lots of peeling paint, rusty nails that protrude from each board, and a host of other structural and cosmetic imperfections, but combined, they are what give it its character and charm.

It's perfectly imperfect.

If it were brand new, it would not draw me in, in quite the same way.  It's got charm.  It's history and story are part of the attraction and in order for this barn in the field to have those qualities, it has had to be exposed to extremes in weather, undergone years of use from the burden of storing hay, and perhaps inadvertently become a refuge for the local field mice and sparrows.  As I reflect upon this barn, I recognize the same elements alive and well in each of us.

We, too, are perfectly imperfect.

We each have experienced the weathering of life that has and continues to shape us. Perhaps we see ourselves a little broken from the burdens of life, or less than shiny and new from a life of use.  Maybe at times it feels like we were never quite put together well enough in the first place.

But it's those very things that make me take notice and draw me into the lives of others.  I am endlessly fascinated by the personal life stories rich with the who, what, where, why, and how of experiences and their effects upon each of us. 

But what's interesting is in just how much we struggle with having those imperfections.  We throw a proverbial blanket over them or scoot them under the rug in order to put our best faces forward.  We become less authentic along the way, painstakingly trying to create someone that we hope others might like more than what we perceive ourselves to be.  Ironically, we inadvertently keep others away with our pretense of a charmed life filled with perfect days and perfect ways.

That leaves only one other choice and that is to learn to love ourselves like I love this old barn.

I made a comment in church yesterday that I wonder if a good portion of the women listening truly heard.  In a discussion on learning to accept the differences of others while standing for virtue, it seemed important to point out that the way we often treat others is a reflection/extension of how we treat ourselves.  How often do we catch ourselves silently (or not so silently) criticizing the actions of others?  Could our hard judgments on others merely be evidence of just how hard we are on ourselves?  Could that bad habit of pointing out the faults of others be a red flag of our own personal insecurities?  The answer is a hard to swallow yes! 

Ouch, right?

"Kindness to self and to others is really the same thing.  And the capacity for one determines the capacity for both," states Dr. Robert Holden, a happiness researcher.  It is acceptance without resignation.  It is gentleness when mistakes are made while still pursuing betterment.

Love thy neighbor as thyself.  In order to fulfill this call from the only perfect being who ever lived, we must first learn to love and accept ourselves, imperfections and all, so that we may more readily be able to do so towards the less than perfect folk that cross our paths.

As you start to learn to see how wonderful you are, how perfectly imperfect and full of unique character you hold, you'll more readily be able to see it through that perspective in those around you.

(And maybe in the occasional country barn too.)

Until next time, off on another adventure!

~Arianna

Physical Climbs, Spiritual Mountains

Once upon a time in a less industrialized world, we worked hard for everything that we had.  Physical toil and labor were the only means to have or do anything.  You're hungry?  Go grow a garden and milk the cows.  You're thirsty? Go walk down to the creek and haul back enough water to last a short part of your day. You want a new outfit?  It may take a good long while for you to not only weave the fabric, but to then sew it together in a pleasing manner.

 

Photo Credit

I am fortunate to say that I have lived a life of modern ease and convenience.  I've been able to open the refrigerator and find food, water seems to magically always be available out of the faucet coming from some unknown location, and pretty much every material need/want that I have is available to me, just a short car drive away.  But really, is it a fortunate thing, in the scheme of things, to have it so easy?  What experiences and learning are we missing by not having to work hard and truly challenge ourselves?  If Cinderella had skipped out on the hard times, would she have been as appreciative of the good things that came to her later in life?

Cinderella's hard work helped inoculate her from a bad case of entitlement.

Basic existence at one time was tedious work (and still is for many around the world).  Hard work.  Taxing work.  But this requirement to sweat for our daily bread was a blessing in the long run.  Besides callouses, physical work helped develop personal integrity, gratitude, endurance, and patience--things that we seem to be losing as a general population these days.

Over the past 5+ years, I've noticed a sharp increase in numbers of folks participating in physically challenging events such as running races, triathlons, and other various ways to test their nerve and mettle.  There's the Dirty Dash, Color Runs, the Tough Mudder, and so many more all requiring its participants to sweat, work, and sacrifice on purpose.  What we have here are people who are purposely choosing and PAYING to do hard things on their own volition! Is it insanity or something more?

Cyclists tackling 100 miles at our annual Couve to Coast century.

To some, it may seem like a fad--an "everyone's doing it" phenomenon or an ego booster.  Perhaps for some it may be just that initially, but those reasons, too, are evidence of a deeper desire, that I would suggest, we subconsciously have to want and need to pursue challenges.  Climbing mountains, running endless miles, and swimming across cold lakes all seem to offer a solution to that subconscious desire that our westernized bodies and minds have in craving to do hard things.

What are do we get out of electing to do these crazy things?  Here's a partial list of the wonderful, even critical fruits of this thing called labor:

-An increased sense of self-worth and confidence.  "Holy smokes, we can do HARD THINGS!"  In a world of microwaves and washing machines, truly, the hardest thing that we might physically do all day is getting out of bed at 5 a.m. to go run 6 miles.

-  Depending on the sport/event, it allows the participant to spend time enjoying God's creations.  A deep sense of gratitude for His handiwork and gifts to us emerges as we continuously spend time in nature.  I have found my most joyful and peaceful moments to be when out and about in the woods, at the beach, or in my own neighborhood as the sun comes up.

-  For most people, the most convenient time to train is in those early morning hours.  A habit of working and contemplating when things are most quiet allows for much personal reflection.  I have solved the world's problems and my own personal challenges again and again during that time! 

-  With time, training for these sorts of events creates a discipline of body and mind.  When we learn to subdue our bodies with the desires of our will, we have earned a tremendous power that seeps into all other areas of our lives.  It injects a sense of control in our lives; someplace that we can measure progress and growth.

-  Hard physical work (and time spent outdoors) is often joked about and referred to as being the cheapest form of therapy.  It is scientifically proven to reduce stress, depression, and a whole host of other mental and emotional issues.  I can vouch for it personally.

-  A sense of camaraderie is found in sharing hard experiences with one another.  A bonding occurs amongst even perfect strangers who can look to one another and say, "Wow, we just did that really hard thing.  Good job!" I've seen it happen at the top of mountains, at the end of a long cycling ride, and during 10k runs.  Having just hosted one such event, I was taken back by how dozens of individuals had just spent nearly 7 hours on a bicycle seat and at the end were all smiling and giving each other heart-felt high fives!  What an amazing sight!


And that's just a start to the many benefits.

Though there is something particular to these sorts of sporting events that make them such a powerful vehicle for growth, we are more than capable in running our own personal marathons in other ways that don't necessarily require gel shots and spandex.  We can climb mountains in many different ways and means.  What I know for sure is that the body and mind are inherently connected.  I am confident that what we do WITH and TO our physical bodies directly affects our spirits.  What happens in the physical world is often a parallel for the inner, spiritual world within each of us.  When practice hard work with our bodies, we are then also better equipping ourselves to practice hard work with our spirits, which also have a yearning to grow through doing hard things.

I love this quote from Tolstoy:

Ultimately, climbing mountains and all other challenging physical pursuits help enable our spirits to climb its own mountains.   These mountains come in the form of trials of every kind:

Loneliness
Loss
Financial distress
Fear
Abuse
Questioning and discovering truth and faith

The list is endless.  These mountains are real, but are present for one main purpose.  Take the time to watch the following video--you'll thank me.  It's powerful and speaks truth about why we all have our own spiritual Boston Marathon's to run and Alps to climb.  (The youtube link is giving several readers trouble, so give this direct link a try.)

CLICK HERE FOR VIDEO!

For those of you NOT having issues with the Youtube link, it's here:

And that's why we climb mountains, people.  That's why I think that so many of us are jumping on the 5K bandwagon.  Deep inside of us, we are searching for ways to learn to work hard and gain the courage, confidence, and strength that will help us to graciously tackle life's unexpected and less orchestrated events.  From these come the growth and preparation that we need in order to grow and work where it matters most--in coming to have a perfect knowledge of Christ who modeled for each of us the art of doing hard things.  Perhaps there will even be an awesome commemorative t-shirt awarded at the end.  :)


Until next time, fellow adventurers!

~Arianna