NEVER SAY NEVER
How many times have you had to eat those words? How often have you sworn to yourself and to high heaven that you would NEVER do or say something in particular? I find myself eating those words often enough and to the point that I just have to laugh at myself or just be completely embarrassed by the young, naive arrogance that has graced me at times. Chalk it up to being young and dumb and with little experience. We can say that about all of us at times, right?
Most recently (like a week ago!) I found myself digesting yet again a nice plate of "never" with the adoption of one little Yorkie named Bogie.
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| The handsome little men of the house. |
Yep. Small dog. Big sweater. And no, I didn't crochet it. You're not the first to ask. And no, you're not funny.
Stop laughing.
For those of you that know us well, we are BIG dog people. Big, hairy, take up half the bed if you let them, buy SUV's just to cart the dog around kind of people. Small "rats with fur," as we so UN-lovingly referred to little breeds in the past, would NEVER move into our house.
Oh how delightful to find myself once again eating yet another large helping of "NEVER."
We dog/house sit on occasion for a darling lady at church who is a breeder of these little guys and sure enough, those bright little personalities grew on us over time. So much so that when she recently asked if we'd take her aging Humphrey Bogart (aka "Bogie") and love him permanently because she just didn't have the time, we took it into some serious consideration.
A week into our test period and even our largish coonhound has come to terms that we are now in with the ranks of small dog people. The kids couldn't be happier.
Never say "never."
My favorite example of the Eat My Own Words phenomenon goes all the way back to my idealistic pre-marriage, pre-family days. On a trip out East to meet my then soon-to-be in-laws, I was introduced to what, at the time, I perceived to be the horror of a toddler being left to watch Nick Jr. in a pint-sized t.v. watching chair. My husband's most favorite cousin and his wife gushed in their satisfaction of having finally been able to get their toddler to sit for 15-30 min. at a time in front of a show and be entertained. They were elated.
In our naivete, my husband and I (not married yet and no kids) were horrified and slightly incensed that the t.v. was being used as a babysitter. "We'll NEVER do that. EVER." In our lack of experience, we could not possibly understand why a parent would be so joyous as to have a "break" with t.v. watching as an acceptable answer. We had no idea and we honestly said to each other, "Our kids will never sit and just watch t.v., so that we might catch a break!"
Are you cringing yet? You should be and if you're not, then you someday you'll get it.
These two examples remind me of how often we are quick to assume what our own behavior would be in someone else's experience. Life has a funny way of bringing us to this lesson over and over again. Personal experience is a most wonderful teacher and eye-opener, isn't it?
Switching gears:
In the last few weeks I've heard the following statements uttered by various members of my little brood:
1. "I will NEVER make my kids go to bed. I'll let MY kids stay up all night if they want to."
2. "I won't make MY kids do chores. THEY will do whatever they want like play video games."
3. "I'm going to give MY kids whatever they want. They're going to be so cute and spoiled."
Does anyone else besides me find these statements ridiculously funny? Our natural response is to smirk, have an adult eye-rolling moment, and then think to ourselves, "Just you wait. You'll see! You'll give your own kids rules, teach them to work, and set limits. You'll do this because you love them and thanks to your own experience, you'll know what's best even when they can't see it or know it for themselves yet."
I often think to myself that this must be exactly how God feels. He gives us rules and laws not because He is an excessively strict parent or control freak, but rather because He has vast amounts of experience that we don't have. He has understanding of what will bring the best outcomes long-term and how we'll be the happiest. Oh, but we THINK that we know better, don't we? We kick and fight and have our own little mortal temper tantrums.
I think that God must often smirk, sigh, and think to Himself, "Just you wait. You'll see!" And eventually we do see courtesy of life's experiences and our own decisions. I often wonder if this is truly the reason why Adam and Eve were commanded to multiply and replenish the earth. Yes, it would provide a means for our spirits to come to earth, but really, parenting is to teach the parents! We start to finally "get it" when we find ourselves as the parent--when we're in God's shoes, who is a parent to millions!
Some things that I've heard myself say to my own kids that I'm sure God has said or thought at least a gazillion times:
1. "Be nice."
2. "Tell the truth."
3. "I'm telling you this because I love you."
4. "I know that this is hard, but it'll be worth it."
5. "You get to make your choices, but not the consequences."
6. "Trust me. This is NOT going to end well."
7. "If you had just listened to me, you could have avoided this!"
8. "Did you think about how the other guy felt?"
9. "Don't worry, it'll work out."
10. "Even though you're angry with me, I still love you."
I often find myself stopping right after having uttered something like the above list and realizing that yup, God has probably said that very thing to me so, so many times. I see now. I get it!
Gotta love experience. Take it, learn from it, and remember to never say "never" (unless it has to do with giving up) because until you've lived it, you really don't know. Remember today to thank God for letting you be here to understand for yourself why He does the things the way that He does, why He sets limits, and why He has given us boundaries. You'll be so much happier when you start to get it!
And now off to go tell the kids zoned out in front of the t.v. (so that I could get some quiet writing time in) that it's time to go outside and play with the little dog. And then later today, I'll spend some time researching the minivan that I said that I would NEVER buy.
-Arianna
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