Life Lessons and Chicken Salad: An Analogy

*Update:  the recipe that inspired the salad analogy is listed at the end of this post.  Enjoy!*

In honor of the mass amounts of cooking and food consumption that will surely take place over the next few days, I wanted to send you off on your Thanksgiving adventures with a food-inspired life analogy for the week.  Perhaps this one won't land in the food analogies hall of fame like "life is like a box of chocolates" or "if life gives you lemons," but perhaps you'll at a minimum look at your chicken salad a little differently from now on and think to yourself, "hmm...life IS like chicken salad!"

Our family has been consuming a chicken pasta salad recipe for over ten years now called "Jana's Chicken Salad."  I have no idea who Jana is, but I thank her. Her chicken salad is a nice blend of tangy-sweet and fruity mixed with a little crunchy and chewy.

(photo courtesy of Whole Foods Market)

I prepared this chicken salad recipe last week in an attempt to help the teenager balance out her need for protein.  Late at night and with only a handful of the recipe ingredients on hand, I decided to give it a go anyway. Though the ingredients that I had available (the chicken, apples, pasta noodles, and dressing) were her very favorite part of the whole recipe, I suspected that the flavor would be lacking a bit.  We were out of celery, grapes and cashews. The green onions had just found their way into the trash, and that last can of crushed pineapple was M.I.A. in the pantry.  "It's okay, mom," she said, " I always pick out all of that other stuff anyway."

It's true.  Pushed over to the side of her plate or bowl, without fail, are the discarded remains of a once completely edible salad.  The celery chunks sadly hide the green onion and cashews, who in turn conceal the unwanted pineapple bits.  I presented her with the new and "improved" version of this recipe that night sans those unwanted items.  Sure enough, it was bland, disappointing, and most definitely not up to "Jana's" original vision of what this salad should taste like or how it should look.

Needless to say, even though it was only comprised of those very favorite food items, the flavor and end result were missing something that the less desirable ingredients granted it.  (Any guesses yet on where I'm going with this?) The salad only tasted great when all of the opposing elements were present:  the crunchy and the soft, the sweet and the tart, the spicy and the mellow.

The Jana's Chicken Salad Makeover still sits in the fridge largely ignored and under-appreciated, as we speak.  Apparently, this scenario makes for a good analogy on adversity because it has come to mind just about every time that I have opened the fridge.  But then again, this is the same person who has been known to willingly get up in front of a large church congregation and make a life analogy about sock folding.  This is how my brain works.  Go figure!

 So, go grab a fork and let's dive in.

It would seem that the less desirable things that my oldest didn't like, seem to have the ability to make the good in this salad stand out and taste amazing.  They flavor the salad and lend it some intricate flavors.  Without them, the shining stars--chicken, apples and noodles--aren't as appreciated nor quite as flavorful.

Likewise, we all have less than desirable things in our lives--ones that we'd willing pick out and scrape over to the side of our plate with our metaphorical fork.  I could make an endless list and you could too:

Bills

Deadlines

Sore throats

Vehicle repairs

Co-worker issues

etc.

etc.

etc.

(We could delve into some really depressing topics, but instead, let's find some comic relief in realizing that I just unintentionally created a word picture with the above list.  HA!)

Without these challenges, misfortunes, trials, disappointments, or whatever other name they are known by, we would surely be less appreciative of all that is good and satisfying in our lives. Ever notice how you take it for granted how simple, mindless, and pain-free it is to swallow, but not until faced with a terrible sore throat?  Have you experienced a time when money was tight and then later had the opportunity to experience the ability to pay a bill with ease without second thought?  How much sweeter and more blessed are those moments when we have it's opposite to compare it to!

And such is life.  

Your challenge this week, dear fellow adventurers, is to find those things (and then savor them!) that have become delicious to you thanks to a careful pairing with the other spices of life that you'd otherwise choose to forgo if you could.  What are you facing right now that pushes your buttons, shows you your weaknesses, and rudely tries to teach you that adversity is truly the spice of life?  What can you see in your life now that you can truly thank your Father in Heaven as you count your blessings on Thanksgiving Day that were once deemed a thorn in your side?

I guarantee that a prayer of Thanksgiving this week that includes vocalizing gratitude for the less than savory life experiences is truly a life changing experience.  I've had the opportunity to put this into action.  I've experienced the humbling and overwhelming joy that can come when we are willing to take a hard look at our challenges and see what good has come from them, because good does come.  What I have come away with is an immense feeling of awe and sense of indebtedness in knowing that God really does have my best interests at heart--that the true spice of life is adversity.  Without it, as without salt, (or in this salad's case--celery, green onion, etc.) the full flavors, joys, and sense of wonder of all that is good wouldn't taste quite as good.

So, go ahead, throw in a little more salt into that pot of potatoes tomorrow.  As you do, keep in mind that challenges, though bitter to the taste, help us to acquire a more delicate palate--thus a better appreciation for what's being served on our personal plates. 

Happy Thanksgiving to you!

~Arianna

Jana's Chicken Salad

4 c. cooked, cubed chicken

3 c. cooked pasta noodle (bowtie, shells, etc.)

2 c. diced red apple

2 c. diced celery

2 c. red grapes

20 oz. can crushed pineapple, drained

1/2 c. sliced green onions

1 c. cashews, chopped 

Combine above ingredients.

Dressing-- 1 c. mayo

                 1 c. Kraft coleslaw dressing

Combine and add to salad ingredients.  Salt and pepper to taste.  Chill several hours and serve.

*Note:  If pasta is still warm when adding the dressing, it'll absorb a lot of it. You may need to add more dressing once the salad has had time to completely chill in the fridge!

Little Big Things

katiedudleyphotography.com

 "Little big things." This phrase has been relentlessly repeating itself in my mind for most of the week now.  I finally took the hint (because this is just one of the ways that God likes to lead me along in my thinking on any given day) and did something about it.

So, what are little big things?  They're those things in life that may seem small and simple, but are what life's all about--what will matter most in the long-run--what will have the greatest impact, though small at first.  (By small and simple things are great things brought to pass! http://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/alma/37.6)

I started keeping track of the little things that took place day to day by actively watching for them and then recording them in the little notebook that I carry everywhere I go.  I know, I know.  I have a smartphone.  I like technology.  But I love recording words with paper and pen.  It helps me to process and remember better.

       Little big things culminated into an insightful list this week. Let me share a few of them.

One~My youngest has an amazing ability to remember.  If we ever have a question as to when something took place or where or with whom, we know that the seven year old will know every correct detail with 99% assurance.  It keeps us accountable for EVERYTHING for better or for worse.

In the last week she has been out to eat (which is a kid-favorite around here), to the zoo, and to a brand new and impressive indoor trampoline play place.  I'd say it was a pretty darn good week for a seven year old.  But do you know what she tells me that she remembers and loved the most?

 

Warm blankets: A little big thing.

Most nights, when I'm on top of things and home during her bedtime, I remember to throw in her favorite blanket in the dryer before I tuck her in for the night.  We pull it out together, she nuzzles it, and then we walk down the hall back to her bedroom.  Once there, she revels in the sudden heat infusion. After swaddling her little seven year old body, I wrap her up in it and trap the heat by piling other covers over her.  Bliss.  Pure bliss.

She cherished the warm blankets more than any of those more costly and flashy activities.  Even with her (sometimes annoyingly) AWESOME memory ability, I know for certain that the zoo and other escapades will eventually fade out and what will be left is the memory of her mom wrapping her in bliss.  A little big thing, for sure.

Two~I had a friend recently tell me mid-conversation that she had been praying for me regarding our undertaking with homeschooling this year. I knew that she meant it and not in the congenial way that we sometimes say, "You're in my thoughts and prayers."  No, I knew that she really had meant it and was in fact doing it.  I could feel it as I heard her say it through the phone (and from a text that I received from another friend stating the very same thing just this afternoon.  You know who you are. Thank you!) She truly had been praying that I would have the peace and patience that I would need to embark and succeed on this particular adventure in sacrifice. There is much more power to endure when you know that there are others rooting for you.

Being the object of another person's prayer:  A little big thing, for sure.

  

Three~Sunday afternoon, I found a deliciously quiet moment and snuck off to my bedroom to read. I was soon joined by the teenager who was just waiting for an official invitation to jump into the goose-down goodness of my bed.  So I invited her, and there we lay, side by side. We day dreamed, we laughed at strange YouTube videos that we streamed through my phone, and at some point we both gave into a killer Sunday power nap. I awoke 45 min. later and looked over at her and smiled. What was once, not too long ago, a little girl had somehow grown into a bigger and more beautiful one. I smiled as I memorized that sweet moment.

 The teenager still wanted to spend time with her mom, snuggled in bed, taking a nap:  A little big thing.

Four~The eleven year old, lately, has been jealously eyeing the teenager's constant influx of babysitting money.  He's been trying hard to find things to do that would give him that same spending power and feeling of independence that he sees in her.  As usual, I've told him that this was just another opportunity disguised as a mini trial for him to learn patience and to put God to the test.  "Go pray about it," I told him.

Fortunately for him, he's heard this so many times in his short life that he's pretty much mastered it (the praying part--not the patience) and has developed almost an air of expectation that all of his prayers will be heard and answered in a timely fashion.  This situation was no less deserving.  After another round of conversations last week regarding his lack of employment, he announced on Sunday that he was praying yet again for God to step in and make something happen.  Sure enough, later that day, we get a phone call and wouldn't you know it...a job just for him.  A church member was going to be heading out of town and needed someone to come and dog sit for her for a few days.  "CHA-CHING!" was his first thought, but his second was the one that made my "little big things" list.  He confidently told me that of course the job had come.  Afterall, he had prayed for it and recognized where the blessing had come from. Is this kid amazing or what?

   Answered prayers of faith for an eleven year old boy:  A little big thing.

Five~ My family is the focus of much of my study and time.  Sometimes I see things that worry me and so I get to work and do something about it.  One such case was that of my daughter and her relationship with her father.  I worried when I saw that the two of them didn't quite know how to relate to each other once she hit the pre-teen stage.  That awkwardness was creating a void which only got wider when most subjects like boys, outfits, break-outs and break-ups became deferred-to-mom only topics of conversation.  All normal father-daughter communication came to a screeching halt and needed some redefining and nudging in the right direction.  I worried and so I did something about it.

I prayed a lot for them.  I prayed a lot for inspiration on what to do to help them.  As I look back over the course of this year, I see those prayers and worries answered through a vehicle named volleyball.  It may seem like a little thing, but that net and that ball became bonding glue for the teenager and her dad this year.  They found a common joy and in the matter of a year, that relationship became redefined and renewed thanks to a good plan and some action.

 Volleyball: A little big thing.

So, as you go about the rest of your week, pay attention to what's going on around you.  What are those little big things?  Are you taking notice of the miracles?  The unexpected joys?  Gather them up and wrap them in a big, cozy, blanket and recognize their source and just how beautiful they are.

~Arianna

Have Yourself A Merry Little R.A.C.K.'d Christmas

                                            Courtesy of kidsonthegrand.com

It’s been a hard knock life sort of week in the world of homeschooling, so to spare you an overly exasperated view, I’ll postpone any homeschooling adventure reporting until next week.  (We're talking severely bad attitudes and moods and not homeschooling itself as the problem!)  Instead, I’d like to take you to a happier destination today. Though I’m not a fan of ushering in Christmas any sooner than at least the week of Thanksgiving, we’re going to go there today and we’re going to do it in R.A.C.K.'d style.  Not familiar with that acronym?  Hang tight; we’ll get to it and I think you’ll love it and want to get started organizing one as well.

               

Most of you come visit me here through Facebook, so I will venture to guess that many of you remember my 36^th birthday from last year (but maybe not as well as I do:)).  It was a R.A.K. birthday, or in other words, a Random Act of Kindness birthday.  I spent the day performing 36 acts of kindness, some completely at random and some organized ahead of time. It was a lot of work.  Much more than I would have anticipated, but it was so rewarding and fun.  Even better was the fact that I asked YOU, my fellow Facebookers, to join me on my birthday in doing one random act of kindness in celebration on that day.  An astounding 100+ of you did so and did it in style!   

The return and reporting back at the end of that day was truly a highlight in my life.  I was so touched by all of the creative and willing goodness that you shared with others that day.  A girl couldn’t ask for anything better (unless you throw in unlimited red licorice, horseback riding, and a day at a warm beach to coincide—but other than that, it was a perfect birthday!).  If you want to relive that day, dig through my Facebook page if it's late at night and you're suffering from a good bout of insomnia, and you'll find all of the great things that took place last year.  Or, spare yourselves and just take my word for it--it was GREAT!

                                                                           

                                                                                

With that info. in mind, let me introduce to you my latest adventure: a Random Act of Christmas Kindness month of December or as we'll refer to it from here on out:  R.A.C.K.'d.  Each day, leading up to Christmas Day, our family will be performing one random act of kindness together.  This will hopefully accomplish a few things:

1.  Help remind my kids, who are already getting glossy-eyed by every advertisement on the planet, that Christmas is NOT about GETTING. 

2.  Create lasting memories by adding another fun and meaningful tradition to our Christmas celebration.

3.  Inspire you to spend the next few weeks thinking about how you want to better set the stage for how Christmastime will be spent in your neck of the woods.

Christmastime these days, courtesy of our retailers, can feel like an explosion of hustle and bustle, blinding sparkly lights, and hours of stalking Black Friday deals in search of the best bargains.  Do you ever feel exhausted when it's all said and done?  Maybe even glad it's over come the beginning of the new year?

                                                                           

Can you feel the anxiety setting in?

I'm guilty of feeling this way sometimes and I know, through conversations with many of you, that you've been there too.  I am confident that a good plan will remedy this problem and instituting this new tradition is one way that we're doing that this year.

Here's the R.A.C.K'd Christmas list that we put together on Monday night during our family night (or FHE, in Mormon lingo):

1. Sing to the elderly at a nursing home (aka the parents will be doing solos while the kids stand idly by mortified by the whole scene. Thus, the need to ask a few other families to join us!  Please help us with this. Please!)
2.  Volunteer at a soup kitchen.
3.  Put quarters into the candy/gumball machines at the mall or grocery store.
4.  Pay for someone's order in line behind us at a drive-through.
5.  Cover someone's car in sticky notes and nice messages.
6.  Take out someone's trash cans.
7.  Deliver treats to the local fire department.
8.  Pass out one-day bus passes at the bus station.  The "other half" rides the bus downtown to    work some days.  They have become his comrades.
9.  Go to the store and hold the door open for other guests coming in.  Do this for an awkward- for-my-kids amount of time.
10.  Put together more of my oldest daughter's homeless kits and hand them out to those in need.  She even started a website for this project. How cool is she?  Love her!
11.  Deliver a surprise dinner to another person/family on a Sunday afternoon. *Psst...I'll be keeping my ears open, so if you sound like you're in need of a break some Sunday in Dec., I just might pick you as the benefactor.  Start practicing now for some convincing Academy Award worthy scenes of desperation, okay? 
12.  Deliver a homemade table centerpiece to the grumpy neighbor lady.   Hey, if you knew her, you'd know that I'm not exaggerating and am determined to make her smile.
13.  Let someone go ahead of you in line.
14.  Donate food to a local shelter.
15.  Leave a treat in the mailbox for the grumpy mailman. If you knew him too, you'd also know that I'm not exaggerating and am determined to make him smile as well.  It didn't work on my RAK birthday, so he made it on the list AGAIN.  I'm determined.  It's a weakness as much as a strength:)
16.  Smile at everyone you meet that day.  And I mean everyone. A true social psychology experiment in the making!
17.  Make neighbor treats.
18.  Deliver neighbor treats.
19.  Make cards and coloring pages for kids at the children's hospital in town.
20.  Decorate a local tree in a park or other public setting with candy canes.
21.  Visit a shut-in from our church congregation.
22.  RACK'd wild card!  Look for an unplanned and super random way to help someone "on the fly."
23.  Put books away that are left out at the library and thank a local librarian.  Thanks to homeschooling, it's our second home these days.  No complaints.
24.  Deliver treats to a chemo patient treatment facility.  I just recently delved into the world of chemo courtesy of a dear friend who is kicking cancer's butt in a room just like the one we'll visit.  While there, I noticed that the patients would often comment on the treats brought in for the day.  They seemed very appreciate that someone would go out of their way to bring homemade goods and make them available to all those receiving treatments that day.  Definitely a worthy cause.

And there you have it. I did not reinvent the wheel here; there are people all over blog land that have given this their own flavor and interpretation.  My adventure in sacrifice (of my time) this Christmas season is in planning ahead to ensure a more meaningful and thoughtful experience.  How 'bout you?

Mt. Hood's winter wonderland. Can I get a cumbaya from anyone?  This is how Christmastime should feel!

~Arianna

The Dreaded "L" Word.

Okay, brace yourselves.  I'm about to share something that is going to make you uncomfortable.  You may even squirm and choose to never come visit again. Here it goes:  lice, Lice, LICE.  Hang in there, dear readers, there's a really good moral to this story, but it does involve the unpleasant aforementioned plague whose mere mention makes you want to itch and dunk yourself in a vat of Clorox.

Let's just start by saying that until recently, we have never before had this scourge.  I used to think that thanks to the many generations of slightly OCD cleanliness fanatics before me had helped inoculate our family against such an outbreak.  I've also learned over and over again that anything I've ever wrinkled my nose at has come back and bit me in the behind at some point later on in life.  Case in point, that the lice plague that hit our church congregation over the last several months eventually found its way into our home.  Apparently, we're not immune no matter what. (I'm still going to hand mop my floors though, thank-you-very-much.)

I'll spare you the details of all of the washing, combing, and outright paranoia (and mortification) that accompanies such an experience.  Let's fast forward to the good stuff, shall we? During the height of the lice outbreak at our house, after yet another round of coming close to shaving heads and burning down the house, I found myself still trying to find the silver lining in this experience.  I came across this "pin" one night on Pinterest:

My son read it out loud from over my shoulder and asked very innocently what blessing could possibly come out of our lice battle.  After a long pause and a sigh (and possibly an itch), my response was, "well, honey, it's not over yet, so maybe we'll find something."  But then together, we came to the conclusion that as a family, we had all really come together in a way that hadn't happened before.  Everyone willingly pitched in when needed, nobody complained (too much) when assigned an extra job to help out mom because she was busy spending HOURS combing through 5 heads of hair daily (and the dog, just to be safe). A new measure of compassion and patience seemed to permeate the whole lot of us over the course of those weeks.  Yes, weeks.  A true battle, I tell you.

                                   But we were tired and eventually we waived our white flags.

It had been a long fight during an already chaotic time in our lives, so we held a family fast several days later praying for help to get through the process of de-licing once and for all (or before Mom had a breakdown).

                                       Here's where the real blessings began to flow.

You have to first appreciate how body-sensitive my son is.  Willingly giving up food is a big deal for him and yet this trial that we were facing was the very first thing in his whole 11 year old life that helped him to want to fast. As a mom, I would go through that nightmare again knowing that the outcome would be that my child would gain enough desire to fast and in doing so, ultimately increase his desire to do it again in the future.
                                                       
                                                         But let's not stop there.

The lice literally disappeared from that day forward. We had ourselves a true miracle.  Life, as far as routine head checks, pillows in the dryer, etc., has gone back to normal for the most part.  We no longer look at each other with quite as much fear (or contempt) when getting a hug good-night from each other. The lice combs have been put away and so have the hazmat-worthy arsenal of shampoos and sprays.

                                                             But that's not all.

There was one last blessing to be found in this experience.  I felt obligated to check the head of one of my daughter's friends for lice because of her frequent visits to our home.  Despite the risk, she continued to come over during those two weeks.  Upon inspection last Friday night, she shyly admitted that she had a huge matted mess of a knot hidden in the back of her hair.  She wasn't exaggerating. It was the worst case that I've ever seen and if you knew this darling teen, you would appreciate just how mortifying this little predicament must have been for her.  She is beautiful and stylish and had been quietly walking around with a ball of hair lurking at the back of her neck.  The life of a 14 year old is hard enough and then you go and throw in a doozy like this one.

Due to her circumstances, she had nobody at home to help her with this until I offered.  So together we sat in the kitchen last night for over an hour and half painfully combing out her hair a few painful strands at a time.  We survived, no hair had to be cut, and best of all she was lice-free.  Had we not had that nasty little plague in the first place, she may have very possibly been walking around with that mat of hair for weeks or months.  I honestly believe that it would (and had already) affected her self-esteem.  What a blessing to have been able to find it, fix it, and forget about it.  I saw her today holding her head up high with her hair down and flowing. She was a whole new girl!

So, let's sum up this latest adventure, shall we?:

1. Don't get lice and if you do, I have the name of a great product, but I honestly hope that you never need to ask me for it's name.

2. No matter how big or small the trial, take Buddha's advice (though I'm sure that Buddha was wrongly credited for that quote): no matter how bad it seems, look for the blessing. You'll be surprised at what you find when you go looking. Brightly colored blooms, so-to-speak, are all around us.

3. Our hardships always, ALWAYS work in a way that will bless others and in the end make it all worthwhile.  Be on the lookout for those opportunities. It's the hardest task, but the most satisfying, I promise.

If you've made it this far, thank you for going along for today's ride!  I promise the next one will be, well...less itch-inducing.

                        That's a whole lot of hair to check, but worth the sacrifice.

~Arianna

  

And We're Off!!!!

I love a good analogy.  If I can "liken" something in everyday life to some great "aha!" moment, I will.  Case in point, I recently managed to relate chocolate chip cookies to family life in a Sunday School lesson not too long ago and I'm pretty sure (and grateful) that nobody dared question if it was doctrinally sound.  Maybe because it was a room full of teenage girls or maybe it was because we really do learn best when we can take challenging life concepts and repackaging them into things that we already know and maybe love.  So why do I mention all this?  Because my hope for this blog is to repackage those hard life lessons into something more bite-sized, more readily understood, accepted, and internalized for me and for you.

If you know me, you've probably had to hear me say this a time or two.  We can do hard things!  Hard things come in all shapes and sizes. My favorite are the ones that take me into the outdoors.  They're the ones that I choose for myself.  The ones that life and God brings us to are not typically of our choosing, but they're the defining ones.  They're the ones that shape our nature and teach us those life lessons.  They come during all stages of life, but my perspective for now is from that of a mother running a full-time family.  We're talking hard things on a daily basis here, people! They teach me daily that sacrifice--putting the needs before the wants, doing for others what that they can't for themselves--is the ultimate adventure.  So, on your mark, get set, and GO!  We're off on an adventure and I'm happy to be your guide.


~Arianna