Beyond the Status Quo of Motherhood

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Hallmark would be proud.  This Mother's Day, a store-bought card was truly the most profound portion of the entire day.  In it, pastel pink printed flowers delicately framed a prewritten message expressing love and appreciation.  The most significant part was that it didn't even come from a family member.  Nope, not from the kids that technically qualify me to be in the "mother" category, but rather, from a young friend who due to the hardships of life, faces the rest of her life without her own mother.

In reality, I've done nothing extraordinary for this girl--nothing that I don't already do for my own kids or for others.  I've included her in our family meals, supported her at sporting events, asked her about her day, invited her to attend church, laughed at her jokes, listened to her secrets, prayed for her during hard times, and told her that I loved her.  Nothing earth-shattering.  Nothing deserving of a Nobel Peace prize or the focus of some future documentary.  Just plain old everyday living and doing and yet to her this has meant everything. 

It might be the biggest and best kept secret of any holiday, even bigger than the truth about Santa Claus, but the fact is that many, many women loathe, hate, and even avoid Mother's Day like the plague.  I have known women who choose not to attend church on that day to further avoid the reminder.  The reasons vary.  Here's a link to an insightful view as to why:  "A Non-Mom Speaks About Mother's Day."

Sorry fellas, it's true. The one day that has been designated as the day that you get to show the women in your life some validation actually brings on a whole lot of bitterness and resentment for a good portion of them.  What can I say?  We're a complicated bunch because those same heightened sensitivities and emotions that allow us to do all of the amazing things that we do often times makes us, well...sensitive.

I just see it as another one of Satan's tactics to try to reduce the influence that women are meant to have in this world.  If he can get us to doubt ourselves, our purposes, our sense of satisfaction and progress in this life, then he can keep us right where he wants us: A calculated and frustrating place that makes us feel that we are somehow less than others, insecure in our abilities, and unhappy with our circumstances when they don't fit an expectation. 

But the redeeming and joyful lesson to be learned in all of this is the lesson that is so often overlooked and undervalued.  Though a mother is technically born when a child comes into the world and makes the woman a mother, in reality, a mother is born the moment a baby girl comes into the world bringing all the characteristics and abilities that are innate with being female.

Some of the very best mothers that I know have never been in labor or experienced motherhood in the traditional sense. These women, young adults, and young women are mothers in the way they care for others, encourage those in their path, and sacrifice in order to help others.  Motherhood is not about experiencing labor or other mortal mothering acts.  Yes, it most definitely is a way that God has designed for many of us to embark on the journey of developing our mothering abilities, but it's not the only way that God had in mind.  And sure, easy for me to say since I've had the traditional motherhood route thus far in my life, but I know that what I feel is true.

I saw this floating around on Facebook the other day.  The first thought that came was how this sums up the essence of what parenthood should feel like on a good day and the beauty is that you don't need to have children to experience this.  I recently felt this in the organizing of an event that brought together several people and businesses from the community for a political launch.  The joy that came from seeing so many people sharing and doing what they do best and to be able to spotlight them and their talents was so, so satisfying.  To be able to give a few of them a leg up and have more visibility in their professions was enormously joyful. I was being a mother.  I was helping others, serving needs, and seeing the good in others and helping them on their path.

So women, the phrase, "you are ALL mothers," however annoying, painful, or ever so trite to hear is absolutely true. The most meaningful mothering that I've felt or given has been in receiving or doing what comes naturally to a woman.  Go on feeding your friends, reaching out to those in need, and showering the lonely with love.  It's what women do best.  It's called motherhood and you'll find the joy that Mr. Zig Ziglar explained when you can begin to define your nature, regardless of your status quo, as that of a mother.

With love to all those who mother the people in their lives,

~Arianna